Losing the Plot

Welcome back, insomnia
Ushered back into silence
Only when everyone else is sleeping
And 'cause the city is sleeping
No one ruthless is rushing
To get to the front of the line, as usual

'Cause I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwomaning
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven't risen
Like a phoenix from a thousand deaths
As though I have not been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead yet

I'm exhausted, Midas
Reigniting a hunger that typically fuels those of us
Still searching for something outside ourselves
'Cause this city bears violence
And everybody is rushing to stop at the podium
And thank for ones who loved and exploited well

I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwomaning
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven't risen
Like a phoenix from a thousand deaths
As though I haven't been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead yet

The light at the end of the tunnel
The one I have always prayed for is a train
At a hundred miles per hour
And it promises to break my bones if I don't stand still
Rip my heart out, ambition mill or bust
With my relevance in dust

And I am losing the plot
I am grieving the end of superwomaning
I have laid down my cape
As though I haven't risen
Like a phoenix from a thousand deaths
As though I haven't been reborn
To notice that my mission is not dead
As though this fame and pressure
Has not dimmed the lights around my head
As though my heart has not kept
All my cynicism under the mattress

And I can't keep it up
Though the fire is not out yet

I am losing the plot