Member of the Guild

No invitation-only
No private members club
No elitist bullshit
Just people united in their love

I'm a member of The Guild, number 442
With a special cap, embroidered badge
And a left leg tattoo

Just like-minded people together
You're free to join if you want
Well actually
It's 27 pounds a year
Just to cover costs
If this is your thing
We'll welcome you in
To join a club where there's only one rule
Share the joy of what we do

I'm a middle-aged man who lives alone
I know what people say
He sits at home, on his own,
Watching porn, wanking all day
But I find a deeper joy
Pursuing personal passions
Relieving myself, being myself
With skill and knowledge and invention

I'm a member of The Guild, number 442
With a special cap, embroidered badge
And a left leg tattoo

It's more than a hobby
It's a way of life
Found in bedrooms and garages
In village halls and distant moors
If something's your thing
Someone somewhere will welcome you in

And if you're still not sure
You probably haven't seen
Our award-winning
38-page, feature-filled
Member's magazine
I'm a self-confessed obsessive
And I'm saying it with pride
I'm a member of The Guild
'Til the day that I die

Day-to-day
No one listens to what I say
You wouldn't even notice me
If you walked past me in the street
But once a year
I come away here
I'm the king of the convention
A celebrity for a week

You can laugh if you like
You may think it's perverse
But I'm the master of my own universe

I'm a member of The Guild, number 442
With a special cap, embroidered badge
And a left leg tattoo
I'm a member of The Guild, number 442
With a special cap, embroidered badge
And a left leg tattoo
I'm a member of The Guild, number 442



Credits
Writer(s): Steve Meat
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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