The Ballad of Little Dylan

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Little Dylan got caught cheating by his teacher today
Well with him in her class she's gonna earn her pay
A little 10 year old terror with 3 missing teeth
Who lost his lunch money so now he's going hungry
And now the big kid in class who got 3 times held back
He doesn't like little Dylan so he makes his eye black
And it just get worse when little Dylan gets home
All he does is fight with mom and sit in his room alone!

Shaggy hair on his head a cigarette in his mouth
He's a pint sized delinquent without any doubt
He's punching back at the rules that hit him 10 times before
Even though he's a genius he really hates school

Dylan got caught with a bottle of whiskey,
He says he hates his life less when he's feelin' tipsy,
See, mom's in a rage from her Ambien
And he's too antsy from his Ritalin
He can't even eat he's so twacked from medication
3 Tramadol a day to keep him under sedation
Up his daily Zoloft, Xanax, and Prozac
We have control of his mind and we're never going back

I saw a report on the news it said
"The kids are huffing glue"
And it freezes their brain
Til they're paralyzed and miserable
But I noticed Dylan's gone through all the modeling glue
And I found alot in a paper bag too

Dylan's 16 and we told him to get out
He brought acid in and we couldn't condone that
Everyday he'd sit alone and he would be frying
And every word he'd say
He would be lying
So we're sending Dylan off to an institution
The doctor there said it was the only solution
He won't get his hands on that beer swill
The only buzz that he'll catch is gonna come from a pill!

And if you run we're gonna chase you
You'll never get away
We got parental custody from the laws of this state
For 15 grand, we'll make his life a wreck
We'll make him sleep on the ground
If you can write us a check
Oh check,
Get the money,
Dolla dolla bill y'all
Check!