Mr. Fregoli and the Diathesis-Stress Supermodel, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Con (An Untitled Track)

Untitled Honours Management, this is Max
Yeah, hey Max, it's Will
Who?
Will Wood
Oh, Will Wood!
How's my favourite client?
I don't know, you'd have to ask him
Everybody's buzzing about your Normal Album, Willy
Well, that's tha- tha- the thing is
I noticed it's not on the Will Wood and the Tapeworms Spotify profile
It's on a, it's on a Will Wood profile, like just Will Wood
That's 'cause you're a pop icon now, Willy!
What?
Now that you got that big hit with "Love Me Normal"
Normally, and it was, uh, hardly a hit
You should see the numbers
I have access to the analytics
You're a star now, kid, we've really gotta focus on your brand
Who is Will Wood?
I am
That's right, gay icon Will Wood!
I'm? I'm not gay? Um
Any day now you're gonna wake up a household name
That names gotta be marketable
Pop stars don't have tapeworms!
I think a lot of them do, actually
My sides
Listen, you worry too much
Did you take your medication today?
Uh, Max, I, uh, uh
Did you?
I mean, I was about to
You know what you got kid?
What?
IT, you got, IT
You got moxie, you got spunk
Spunk?
You wanna see your name in lights?
Uh, I mean, if it pays, um
Look, I'm in it for the music, I just love music
I'm a music fan and you're the most talented artist in my roster
You know that?
No
We just gotta make the right branding decisions
Get you in the room in front of the right people
I don't care about the branding
I just wanna make sure people who are listening on my old Spotify
Can find the album on the new Will Wood profile
I'll take care of it kid, stick with me, you know I'll take care of you
I got an idea
What?
We'll post a track to the old profile
That sounds like some kind of skit
But is actually obviously just an advertisement
For the new Will Wood Spotify profile
Okay yeah, no, I like that, but it can't be subtle
Of course not
We'll make it self-aware so it's immune to criticism
That is why meta commentary exists
And to be safe, we'll also make it criticize meta commentary
So we're doubly protected
Thats a great idea
And, and we can blame the name change on a fictional manager
So I don't have to explain all the
Complicated business reasons behind the change
Remember, we'll only be able to get away with this
If we make it seem like it's making some kind of artistic statement
Well, we can make it seem like I'm criticising post modernism
And the disingenuous nature of the music industry
And put some avant-garde droning in the back
Get, hold on I'm getting another call
Wait what?