Letter to My Ex

Baby you ain't see the vision
Everything I do, you thought malicious
That wasn't my intention
But then again you can't forget it
And I can see how you think things negative
Countless people said they'd stick around but never did
It's the same thing different day, repetitive
The downside I had my wall up
My actions are tarnished
That's something that I can acknowledge
Never claimed to be a perfect work of art
Only thing I know, I'll never stop working hard
Cause you never really grow if you only get by
Balance out the lows, so you only get high
And it's hard for you to trust
Get too close it's back up
Look at every new one as your past one
It's hard to recognize support, you never had one
Out of 10, you're a bullet of a handgun
And when you claimed ugly, I saw you as beautiful
Know you way more than you could know
I know you only want acceptance from your parents
And for you life goals is a perfect marriage
Either that or it's happiness
To hide from the pain that's what laughing did
And I'm not here to fight like a pacifist
I just know, when we're close, always passionate
But you know how it goes
One thing that I say, might annoy
Putting everybody up ahead and it destroys you
When you focus on everybody, but you
Blinded to the ones who really love you
Difficult for you to love back, you've done that before
Scared to relive your past, I'm your antidote
Said that yourself, afraid of a broken heart
But how you gonna turn your back on open arms
Man, what the fuck

I just don't know
I love you, but
I can't commit to you
I'm not even the girl you really want
You helped me through so much
But at the end of the day
You're just temptation to me
There's somebody else
I'm sorry

Up late night talking about our future
Something that I wasn't used to but it felt like usual
Even had names for kids that we ain't have yet
Reel me in then let go, was it part of your tactic
All the planning that we did, was it all for nothing
Holiday plans, was it all for nothing
Introduction to the fam, was it all for nothing
I mean, everything's gotta count for something
Was I just a crutch that you lean upon
Waiting for a way out, had your blinker on
Was I only used for you to boost self esteem
Girl it's always been about you like a selfie be
I was there for you when tragedy hit
Only way to help was to laugh and forget
I got you out the dark in the letters you wrote me
And then you found comfort in somebody else
And that broke me
Was I not good enough
Did I not give you love
Or maybe I just gave too much
And in return you just gave no fucks