VCR

A baggy jacket, expired film subscriptions
Drawers of birthday cards and a phone full of messages
CDs I won't listen to, ignored books, used and new
Tables of think pieces that I never read through
The remnants of my parents' efforts to reach out
Objects in search of the right words to shout
I can't let them in
It's not them
I can't let anybody in

You always thought I was funny
But I never was much fun
I cannot climb to the landing
All courage gets is a bad ending
I've got my basement, my life
An allotment of lights
A ten-year-old mattress
A box of failed stress tests
A corner where a mirror leans
Only sporadically cleaned
It shows me constantly
Distressed and half-dressed
Nothing feels like it fits

I see the light flood the stairs
And Arbogast falling backward forever
The ceiling closes around him
My eyes will not leave the rushing floor
I can't look away, but I can't watch anymore
I feel the slits in the VCR
Where my mom taped ER
She recorded shows for me
We'd sit together some weeks
And watch yesterday's scenes
Everything felt utopian
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again
Everything feels real again

I can't let them in
It's not them
I can't let anybody in

I can't let you in
It's not you
I can't let anybody in

I can't let you in
It's not you
I can't let anybody in

I can't let you in
It's not you
I can't let anybody in

I can't let you in
It's not you
I can't let anybody in



Credits
Writer(s): Sean Fitzpatrick
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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