On My Own

That's KR

It's just a lil' story about my life

I remember when, I'm talkin' back then
Before this music shit, before this damn pen
I think I was ten, just a young, and see
How I looked up to you, you all I wanted to be
No cape, but you were my hero
But it felt like in your life, I was just a zero
'Cause you always left, I was put on the shelf by myself
Wonderin', you know, how that shit felt, to be
So young and have to ask yourself why
To question everything you said 'cause it was usually a lie
Have to fake a smile 'cause the pain inside
Remember the nights I cried but acted tough, so the pain I hided

So tell me, could you find a reason for this
All those nights you said you'd be there that you missed
No, I don't think you can, so I came to understand
I never gathered what was to be a man
Damn, and yeah that shit cut deep
It kept me awake at night, yeah, I couldn't sleep
But I made it through, the obstacles I faced because of you
I realized no matter what I do, I wasn't gettin' through
It's like talkin' to a wall, you were never there to answer my call
Didn't pick me up, whenever I would fall you weren't there
You weren't there at all

You weren't there when I needed you, no
I had to be a man on my own
You weren't there, I was all alone
I had to be a man on my own

Since you left and weren't there, mama picked up the slack
Because she cared that you weren't there to turn her back
No, she always did what she had to
Always had my back through all the bullshit with you
'Cause she could see the pain deep down on my soul
Did what she could to try and fill that hole
In my heart, 'cause she couldn't play the part of being a father
Like really, how is your family such a bother?
Damn, had some sittin' back thinkin' in my feelings
I been drinkin', wondering why you chose your dreams
Instead of a life with us, are we not good enough?
Or was being a father really that tough?

Shit, I could go on for days
Tryna figure out your ways but I get stuck, lost in a maze
'Cause I know you never changed but I can't seem to turn the pages
Like a fight with myself, I just wanted out this cage
So, I made peace with it all
Realized my mama would be there whenever I called
She took a stand to make it right, even if it meant she had to fight
She was there for me each and every night

You weren't there when I needed you, no
I had to be a man on my own
You weren't there, I was all alone
I had to be a man on my own

Yeah
I know there's a lot of people that have been through the same thing
This song is not meant to be in any way disrespectful to my father
I'll forever love you, pops