Idiot

I've been an idiot
I've been a fool
Now that it's over I've got nothing left to lose
Got into the habit
Of not getting it right
I wore myself half to death
Just to live up to the hype

You know I told her all my secrets
When I didn't have no secrets to tell
I was bound and determined
To drive that nail into the coffin myself

If I am gonna carve my name
Into this shame
Like a tall oak tree made of all the pain
It didn't work, I didn't care
I just wanted to be there for a while

You have been patient
You have been kind
And try as you may, it's love you can't get right
Like a dog in the window
Or a breath from your chest
You give and give, until there's nothing left

I got rid of all the memories
That I never had the heart to erase
You see I'll write a song about you
But I'll never say it to your face, hey!

If I am gonna carve my name
Into this shame
Like a tall oak tree made of all the pain
It didn't work, I didn't care
I just wanted to be there for a while

I'm that ugly stain
You can't get out
On your father's name
Your mother's blouse
If you stick around
Then you'll see
I don't make mistakes
They're a part of me

And I know it's not time
For you and I to try

And if I was a man who could count on his hands
All the times that I saw and I didn't understand
I would hope that I see that I lived through the three
And any other of those that have bargained with me

I'm a fake, I'm a fraud and when I talk to God
Man I hope that he hears
Because these days it appears
I can't do it on my own when I do it by myself
Some days it gets better but most days I can't tell

If I am gonna carve my name
Into this shame
Like a tall oak tree made of all the pain
It didn't work, I didn't care
I just wanted to be there
It didn't work, I didn't care
I just wanted to be there
It didn't work, I didn't care for a while
I just wanted to be there