Drowning

I know that I need to have
A little bit more patience
I know that I can't stand to see
The look on your face when
I'm working late all the time
But I do this for us
I know it don't seem like it right now
But I need you to trust me
And the direction I'm headed
Cause I know life can get us down
And keep us there if we let it
So if your down just remember
I'm only one call away
Filling ash trays of these memories
That won't go away
Cause no matter what I do
I swear you're always on my mind
Breaking out my box
And I'm no longer gonna hide
The feelings of a man
With the issues that I have
And I know you gonna judge
Before you even know the half
Of the shit that I went through
As I was growing up
Always was alone
While mom was always using drugs
Just to make the pain my father gave her go away
Guess that's why she blames me
For the way she is today

I know I'm trying hard
To find my way home
My past has left these scars
But they won't tear me apart
Cause I've been down
I've been broken
I've had faith
I've been hopeless
Feel like I'm drowning
I'm holding my breath
As I come to the surface

Feel like when you look at me
You're always trying to hide
The fact that you're sad
And a part of me has wondered why
Think it might be
You missed ninety percent of my life
Or the fact I am the man
I wish you were when I was five
Cause the man I am today now is no thanks to you at all
Five years didn't even get a call
Remember playing ball
And looking in the stands
After every single play
Hoping that I would see my dad
A man I thought I knew
Who would be proud to see his son
But mom told me
Now son that day is never gonna come
Remember all those times
You would sleep for days in a row
Thinking you'd wake from a dream
But dad this the life that you chose
Cause now you crossed me
And I will never trust you like I did
Through thick and thin
Man I would always be there for my kid
I don't understand
How you could leave me alone
And I'm still hoping one day
You finally pick up the phone
Cause I know

I know I'm trying hard
To find my way home
My past has left these scars
But they won't tear me apart
Cause I've been down
I've been broken
I've had faith
I've been hopeless
Feel like I'm drowning
I'm holding my breath
As I come to the surface
(Yeah)
As I come to the surface
(As I come up)
As I come to the surface
I feel like I'm drowning
I'm holding my breath
As I come to the surface
(As I come up)
I know I'm trying
(I'm trying)
To hold my breath
I'm trying so hard
To hold my breath
As I come up to the surface
(Tryna hold on)
Cause I know I'm trying hard
(I am)
To find my way home
(I'm coming home)
My past has left these scars
(Yeah they have)
But they won't tear me apart
(Nah)
Cause I've been down
I've been broken
(Few times)
I've had faith
I've been hopeless
(Now I)
Feel like I'm drowning
I'm holding my breath
As I come to the surface