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If I never changed, would I still be insecurity driven
If I never changed, would I still be questioning my existence
Maybe if I stayed the way the that I was it would all be so different
Was the best thing to do but then again, maybe I just didn't listen
What if I said that I constantly feel so damn nervous
And on top of that, the things that I do always end with me hurting
All fired up, do what they say, and remain assertive
But to my entire family, I just feel like I'm a burden
She's sick, I hate to say it
On the edge, and I'm fading
Telling myself I could've done this or done that
Don't look, I'm a train wreck
I don't how to help her
It's real bad in December
I'd quit school and music
If it meant we would have shelter
I wanna be, the realest me but I'm scared when I have to be real
I go to school, go to bed hungry, my home. It isn't ideal
Don't get me wrong, I'm super proud of all that I have achieved
But I'm losing myself. It just doesn't help. My home is what printed my feels
Changing my name to who I really am, been years since I made the request
I could wait but I don't, and my girl? she will make sure that I don't remain mess
Sometimes I need to sit and cry on her lap while we lay in my bed
And honestly, she is my happiness source but the distance is hurting my head

This house... Is cold... it's shaped I grow
This house... Is cold... but it's what I call my home
This house... Is cold... chills me to the bone
This house... Is cold... I'm afraid I've lost control

I'm wearing all my emotions the same way that I wear my scars
I hide them enough so that people don't see the one etched in my heart
Every one is a battle I lost. I know that it sounds kinda stupid
And the only time that I will show them is when I'm creating this music
A whole another year? don't think I can do it
Can I get a refund? Cuz I'm only human
I'm wondering is this the life of a student
Or somebody who's just unlucky and losing
Truth is, I'm suicidal
Do I accept it? I don't
Will I accept it? I won't
Man, you need to get help
I know, I know, I know, I know
How would my mama react if she knew that her baby was having these thoughts again
Would she cry? or would she take me to the hospital holding me tight on my hand
My body will put me in debt, trust me, I know it's a lot to discuss
It's hard to fight when I get up out of bed every morning before my mind does
Recap, wanna relapse every time I kickback, watch that
Saying "I love you" like it's the last chance I'll get
Prozac didn't help. Advance to the next pill
Big gap. I'm uncomfortable writing about this... Will I fight back
I don't know, honestly. I'm too scared to lose, nah... This a broken flow
Seeing my mama cry because of me. It's the worst thing for me to see
She wants me be happy. Acting so sad. It won't help her pain. She needs support
Stay together now was the most emotion that I've ever written
But this overcomes it. Numbing. Scared this the beginning. Maybe it's just nothing

This house... Is cold... turning me to stone
This house... Is cold... please take hold of my soul
This house... Is cold... feel alone
This house... Is cold... I'm afraid I've lost control