Thoughts

I keep on pacing up and down the room
And I keep looking at this fucking rope
My momma text me saying, "See you soon"
But will I make it? I don't know
I don't wanna die, but I also don't wanna hurt
I found a pot of gold, but still feel like I need to search, word
Success ain't everything that I assumed
'Cause I feel lonely in these crowed rooms

Can't even tell if it's plastic or real
They love me, but I feel inadequate still
I mean, I try to stay focused and ignore it, but the pressure will build
Would be ashamed if I don't set up my kids
I mean, I'm booming right now, but how long is my reign gone last?

Feel like I'm one wrong step away from becoming the same old cass
I don't wanna go back
Wanna move forward, but I don't have all the energy
Especially when friends is busy siding with enemies
Thought you knew me better than all these made up analogies
How could I be happy when everybody is mad at me?
You could tell I'm lonely by all these memes in my gallery
Busy burning bridges when I should be burning calories
Wishing that we all came with rechargeable batteries

Wanna end it all, but I gotta think of my family, fuck
Now I'm forced to smile with niggas like a scoop, hm
Who don't love me like they say that they do, hm, hm
I can see it in the way that they move, hm, hm
Niggas, do you false? And say they living they truth

Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
They only love you when you're gone

Yo, yo, uh, who got receipts for what a prayer do, uh?
You let me forward that, let me know that I'm unbreakable, uh
Your sync folder, let me know how much it ate at you, uh
Come see my plate and all this shit they made me cater to, uh
It ain't no space for you 'cause I done been confined to it, uh
Ain't nothing perfect like my vessel if I fine tune it, uh
Man, I been thirsty than a bitch, been tryna find fluid, uh
I got a waterfall to find out that it's diluted, uh

I see the sun inside my son, so I been super shaded but illuminated, uh
Can't do the cell so I went Super Saiyan, uh
My Neo soul can make it through the Matrix, uh
Woah-woah, clear through my basement I been fumigating
This shit got me bugging, uh
I'm still a slave, I got a noose inside my stomach, uh
My free shackles turn to jury for the function, uh
My self destruction look like sumn', sumn', sumn', uh

And I fear God but tell the devil we could run it, uh
Your inner beauty never paid you, truth is ugly, huh?
I'm so confused, I see the darkness when the sun is up
You tell the truth, when we meet up you just see money, huh
It's been a minute since I fell in love
Been soul searching, I been meaning to tell
Was unavailable they needed my help

See I convinced the whole damn world to believe in me, bro
When I don't even believe in myself
I'm not as honest as you think I am
I'm just as filtered as your Instagram
I mean, I'm really me, just with a bit of trickery
I don't trust a soul, I be like Mr. Bean, shhh
My spirit the reason people look up, sorta like Listerine
Scratch beneath the surface no matter how I word it
Could never tell the truth to my fans, they think I'm perfect

I know I'm real, and I know I'm fake
Don't know my fate, but I know my faith
Tryin' to control my pace
Believe in God and the Pearly Gates
So if I die, I hope my soul you take
I know that heaven is a stretch
But I'm hoping that you'll hold my place
I know I'll make it though I made mistakes

Father protect me
When I walk through the shadows of the Valley of Death
With no fear of the darkness though I'm hearing the threats
When I walk through the shadows of the Valley of Death
With no fear of the darkness, say that shit with my chest

Oh, ooh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone
They only love you when you're gone
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
They only love you when you're gone
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, ooh, ooh