One Cow Town

There's no use complaining
Time flies as we grow old
Summer sun's too hot
While winter nights are cold
Them wolves look awful hungry
To step out, you must be brave
I just can't seem to be well-off
No matter how much I save

Got a letter from my cousin
Serving life in prison cell
They beat him up twice a week
Apart from that, he's doing well
My dog's been walking funny
His cough makes me upset
I'd really like to help him
But I can't afford a vet

I can't wait to leave this one cow town
Where those who are up spit on those who are down
And all the bar queens charge double at rounds
Time to break away from this one cow town

It hasn't rained in ages
Drying up our fields of corn
Satellite dish is busted
Now we can't watch decent porn
And Miller with his shotgun
Screams out he's lost his mind
Got a raw deal from moonshiners
And now he's going blind

Alfie's got a new plan
He's determined to strike it rich
His car runs on urine
But no one will hear his pitch
This country's going downhill
No such thing as second chance
Me, I lost it all in poker
Now I don't know where's my pants

I can't wait to leave this one cow town
Where those who are up spit on those who are down
And all the bar queens charge double at rounds
Time to break away from this one cow town

Gave my number to Samantha
I'm expecting her to call
My counsellor used to do crack
Now he's into alcohol
Inflation just keeps rising
Everyone's going nuts
It's high time to riot
But no one's got the guts

Been talking to my dentist
Told me heaven's within reach
No need to hide my smile
Cause he's got the perfect bleach
The Bishop's really pissed off
Too much sins to forgive
If only we had more strippers
This would be a cool place to live

I can't wait to leave this one cow town
Where those who are up spit on those who are down
And all the bar queens charge double at rounds
Time to break away from this one cow town

I buried my dog just yesterday
We had crackers and champagne
My counsellor gave a speech
"May his death not be in vain"
Miller and his vet buddies
Gave a twenty gun salute
Samantha showed up with her husband
We all agreed that she looked cute

Everyone wants a better world
Still no one's got a clue
Those that have too much
Keep robbing those who have too few
All these worries give me fever
I should've stayed in bed
If I ever find religion
Be sure to shoot me dead

Then bury me in this one cow town
Where those who are up
Spit on those who are down
And all the bar queens charge triple at rounds
I guess I'll stay in this one cow town
Looks like I'm stuck in this one cow town