Monster Within

The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you

Doctors gave the diagnosis as a little kid
Normal soon became a thing that I didn't live
My symptoms would hold me back from fitting in
Running home from school it was hard for me to play tough
When you're scared but don't know what you're afraid of
I'm taking antidepressants back in grade school
Just so I can focus on the lessons and stay cool
Panic attacks that I would have came from nothing
I could be relaxing but then all of sudden
Hands would clam up and I'd feel my chest get tight
Heart rate would add up and then my breath would spike
I would sweat at night but my body, feel cold
I was taught breathe slow please put me in sleep mode
Mind over matter but that doesn't even matter
When you don't know what's the matter with your mind
I've had it with the crying it happens all the time
I wish that it wasn't mine

The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you

I wanna be like everybody else but I'm not allowed
It's a feeling of concealing like I got a shroud
Covering up anything that can lead to happiness
I see the monster within in which that it is
And as it gets out of hand it keeps digging
It won't loosen the grip and the room keeps spinning
All of the anxiety is driving me insane
No more hiding what's inside of me I'm in pain
To you, it looks like nothing for me the thoughts are real
And I don't wanna depend on the meds and pop a pill
For every episode might be best I'm left alone
I can't grow out of it I can only grow up with it
It's like a prison that I built but I'm stuck in it
I gotta thing where I sit in the back of restaurants
Otherwise it sets it off and leaves you paralyzed
And do I dare to try death I'm not scared to die, yes

The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you

A lot of people with general anxiety disorder find themselves sighing
They'll often tell you they can't take a big enough breath
They kind of live in this world where they're living in this almost in a turned up state of tension all the time
I describe them like ducks floating in the water
They seem very serene flowing across the lake
But underneath they are paddling like hell to keep going

The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you
The monster the mon the monster
All I see is this blood on you