LIMASANGWA

Oxford did not want you, Imperial did not want you
Legend has it your parents were finding someone to adopt you
For real, 1998 was the year it all went wrong
Could this little boy usher in the eschaton?

Little weight little bench for a little man
Stash on in the gym lifting little kilograms
Tops off rigs out bro that's peak
Forget do you even lift, bro do you even eat?

I don't mean for this to hurt but I avoid you in Church
You're just not as tall as Joel and you're not as wide as Birch
Do your housemates even like you? I'm seeing a trend
I think base-icon Ballack is your only real friend
I don't wanna compare but I've seen your stats on Strava
22's not looking good unless you train a little harder
By a little I mean a lot, is that really all you've got?
There's been no progress since the days of sleeping in a cot

B L L, happy birthday to Lavelle
Meditating on the word making sure your spirit's well
You don't run quick or run far, the only thing of interest is the name
LIMASANGWA
Two out of three, now what's the missing piece
Could it be a Barbour coat or a Patagonia fleece
Barbour shoes blue jeans and a Hatfield quarter-zip
Really is the sign of a lesser-spotted Benedict

Trot with your size 8 feet to Urban Oven every week
Maybe Pizza King on Monday's or a bit of Lebeneat
Your cholesterol is up, testosterone is down
You think you're a legend but you're really just a clown

You're pretty much 30 but you think you're in your youth
Playing games like a child, 'I just packed Toni Kroos'
You think you can survive, I'll let Daggers state the truth
Lavelle's being torn to shreds, call it Fire in the Booth

B L L, happy birthday to Lavelle
Meditating on the word making sure your spirit's well
You don't run quick or run far, the only thing of interest is the name
LIMASANGWA
Two out of three, now what's the missing piece
Could it be a Barbour coat or a Patagonia fleece
Barbour shoes blue jeans and a Hatfield quarter-zip
Really is the sign of a lesser-spotted Benedict