(Only An) Inner Fire

The fire was burning everything around my body
A boiling wave hoping to fulfill one or two things
Then it stayed inside of me, igniting every inch
Couldn't stop it, though I knew it was bad for you and me

And the sparkles also existed in his eyes
I never replaced him, I was filling the void
And I know that night I missed him for the last time
For once, the fire took a shape that seemed right

And each time it was dying I reignited it
I knew it was dangerous 'cause I didn't have the right
But it was helping me survive and ease the flame
'Cause the fire, 'cause the fire, was all I ever knew

And every empty part of my mind was waiting
For the wave to come and put the wrong fire out
And these times the ashes should have been wiped away
But they spread and they turned everything else dirty

I woke up every night, remembered through the dark
I wanted to walk till my legs would become numb
Till the air froze my lungs and stopped my breath again
And the fire, and the fire made sure to never leave

It's always inside me and won't leave me alone
I see the sparkles and they add even more ashes
That I can't clean and they keep on smothering me
And they filled every part that I had kept empty

As a child, in the night, I was already right
I forgot the truth, I knew for such a long time
Until you came and you reminded me of it
Old demons coming back to haunt my thoughts again

Telling me I shouldn't hope for other fires
I will only ever get an inner fire
I think maybe I don't need the inner fire
And I shouldn't only have the inner fire
But I can only get the inner fire
Only when it's ending I start being alive