With Friends Like That

I wish I had a homie Like Maynard G. Krebbs
I wanna have a Cronnie like him
It's not like he would go where no man feared to tread
But Dobie Gillis really had a friend
With friends like that...

I Wish I had a goombah like Paulie Gualtieri
When I gotta move a body they can't find
I know that He knows that I know that He knows
What goes good with what kind of red wine
With friends like that...

I wish I had a comrade like Boris Badinov
Natasha came along for the ride
He could keep a secret even if it's classified
Clink our vodka glasses to the spies
With friends like that...

Believe it or not
Thru thick and thin
Better or worse
Right to the end

Sickness and health
Just say when
True or False
I'll all depends

Without a doubt
Borrow or lend
Eye to eye
Sink or swim

Watch your back
Fill to the brim
Arm and arm
Rum and gin

Hand to god
Commit the sin
Worth more than
A diamond gem
With friends like that...