Open Letter

Ahem

Sometimes I feel like I ain't s-
Sometimes a n- feel like s-
Talkin' 'bout some real life s-
Goodbye letter, dear life s-
So if a n- kill me, hope he mean it
I just hope I die for a reason
They probably won't miss me 'til they need me
Have problems with admittin' that they need me, Lord

I'm talkin' 'bout some real life s-
Goodbye letter, dear life s-
Way too concerned to be conceited
I live then I learn, then die tryna teach 'em, Lord
Die tryna reach 'em
They care more about how much I leave than where I leave it
I hope I leave more of an impression on my kids
To be destined to have blessings to believe in, Lord

Just got off the phone with my son
Told him, "You a son of a gun"
Just got off the phone with my daughter
Told her, "I won't hesitate to f- a young n- up"
Lord

A few b- left me
That only got a new b- elected
My old b- was too disrespectful
And only get my new b- respected
That's power, yes
It's now or next

Can't lie though, I tried though
I'll die tryin', that's a common death
We was such a team, we was chasin' our dreams
Then it stopped, now I'm outta breath
Now they try to tell me I need rest
And I'll find love again, I ain't find it yet
Oh, but I guess it is what it is
As it appears, oh s-

The object in the mirror is more near than it appears, oh s-
And sometimes I fear who in the mirror
That n- weird
He done died so many times but still here
Why am I here?

Dear life
What is my meaning? My reason?

Naked b- really love ones
Sometimes our loved ones don't love us
I'm f- more than I'm makin' love
Sometimes I make my rubber wear a rubber
I just tell my lady, "Nothing's easy"
Even though I make it look easy
But understand looks are deceiving
Lookin' like I'm lookin' for some grievance

'Cause I been through way too much, don't wanna think about it
Cranky 'bout it, gotta drink about it
Gotta synchronize it, tranquilize it
Doctor ain't prescribin' what he ain't realizin'
Pain inside me got me thinkin' 'bout me
Tryna hang my body, sanctifyin'

I'm a gangsta dyin' 'cause all gangsters die
Can't deny it, you can't tame my lion
I'm a angry lion hangin' by a string
I can't describe it
Feel like a anchor tied to my finger
Got me sinkin' to the bottom of my drink

I know a lotta n- think I got a lotta n-
There's strength in numbers but there's honor over strength
I talked to God the other day, he said he got a n-
So, I look death up in her eye and then I wink

It's way too real
The s- I'm talkin' way, way too real
I hope it gave you chills
The dirt under your feet could be the grave, you fill
You don't know how dead you feel 'til you're dead for real
Gettin' high after I paid the bill

Lower than a Navy SEAL
Show up with them Navy guns
I hope somebody prayin' for 'em
Price tags on mistakes, somebody payin' for 'em
Ice bath when my face numb, no expression
What's the life expectancy when you don't expect s-?

Mama told me, f- the world and be so aggressive
Be so fluorescent, watch these h- 'cause they so obsessive
Don't get too high to look over blessings
Never come in second, make the most of your seconds
They so precious

'Cause if we could buy time every store would sell it
If you want me to read your mind, need correct spelling
I keep it real, n- better keep it copacetic
Where the weed? I feel like I'm getting sober-headed
Lookin' in the mirror at the one that know me better
I was too busy to talk, I wrote an open letter

Dear life
What is my meaning? My reason?
That's the question
I ask the reader
God bless the reader

Dear life
What is my meaning? My reason?
That's the question

You know, when he told me that Toya was havin' a baby, I say
Y'all young, you know y'all young, I said
Be the best father you can be, you know
And truly, he is that