Spectrum: Give Us a Break

I remember, I was reduced to nothin', the words never softened
I remember bein' secluded, sat in my room, a confused kid
I remember lookin' down at my clenched fists, bruises form upon my skin
I seem vacant, but it's frustration, it's so hard to ignore

I remember hearin' all the rumors, the half-truths
I remember feelin' like an alien trapped in a cramped classroom
I remember the way, they'd laugh at all the things that I'd say, and
I remember the way, I'd mistake a grin, to mean, a new friend
I'd hide away in my own world
To escape every one of their words
I never knew that I deserved worth
It's never long before the dream bursts

Then I hear that stomping up the hallway, to the doorway
And I see that hand creep up on the door frame
There's a silhouette armed with endless threats, and I can't look away
I'm big you're small, is what you said to me
My eye line falls, I couldn't breathe
What you saw was flawed, and you made me believe
I couldn't stand tall, on my own two feet

And I'd scream and scream until my throat would bleed
It's hard to speak through these gritted teeth
I'd do anything to numb the pain
I can't hear the music through the pourin' rain

I pretend that I'm far away
I pretend I've escaped this place
I pretend when I lay awake
I pretend that the dream never fades

When everybody sings, I try and sing along
But I'm always singing the words to the wrong song
Dancing to a different tune
I used to wish that I was just like you

Charismatic
Conversation comin' automatic
Simple to fit in, no need to practise, at
Holdin' eye contact, hidin' scars, fightin' panic
Smilin' through sadness, tryin' hard not to fall apart
I was afraid they'd hear the beatin' of my heart
But now they hear the beat that's beatin' through my heart
I found a melody that's helpin' me
That's flowin' differently inside of me
And I'm singin' all the way home

And now I stumble along, mumblin' songs
With a stutterin', mutterin', fumblin' tongue
On and on I go, I know that I won't fall
I use the music to improve 'n' to prove you wrong
I spoke up n let the words out
I spoke out 'n' let the sounds from deep down out now
I've gone from coverin' up, to recoverin' now
Once I couldn't pronounce, but now
I'm in command of those sounds

I'm big your small is what you said to me
I'm afraid, I'm not afraid, that I don't believe
What you saw was your own flaws in me, you don't see
You no longer matter to me
Your words ain't what they used to be
I remember

It meant nothing to you but every night I cried
I remember trying to dry my eyes
In the dark, I saw a light
Enough to blind my sight
In my mind I'd died
Now the sounds are alive
Hummin' a melody tellin' me that I can survive
I'm still standin' in the aftermath, after you so it's hard to deny

That I can, I believe, that I am
Not alone, on my own
I can let the world know
That I can 'n' I will rebuild
Scars never disappear but they heal
You can, you will, you are
Important, even if you don't feel it
Or believe it
You can get through this
I believe it
'Cos I was stood right where you are