Hailie

I put my trust in you man you said you loved me
But in the end, your only goal was to fuck me
Damn, now that's some crazy shit
You got me cussing up a storm, but fuck it man I'm pissed
You messed up my mind, now look at this
I'm permanently scarred, from all the shit you did
You never gave a fuck about me, you never did
You can tell me that you did, but your actions' opposite

My name is Hailie, I never dreamed of being thrown away
I hope I break you down to tears with this song today
I've kept these, secrets inside of me, locked up inside of me
You know the saying, swallowed the key, sodomy
I got a, confession to make so I'm writing this letter
Can I, suggest that you wait that way things will get better?
But listen, walk in my shoes, walk in my room
Take a minute think 'bout who I'm really writing this to
Mentally, the innocence you've taken from me
Left me naked like an apple that you shake from a tree
I let you in my mind, I can't believe I ever trusted you
I'll just say I was naïve, blame my youth
No, no, no, no, don't stop now, call me crazy
This isn't just about me, but our unborn baby
Call me selfish I don't know what I'm doing
You did some things to my mind that turned my life into ruins

I didn't do anything to deserve this
I don't know why you treat me like this anyways
So just stop calling me

You had me mind fucked for a while, but still I wanted to try
I wanted to try, but inside I just wanted to cry
You told me I was weak, that I was overreacting
That I was wrong to be mad, I was wrong to start snapping
That was my bad though, I gave you all the satisfaction
I was wrong every time, you would always start clapping
And tell me how stupid I am, to think what I thought
That I was wrong in my mind, I was the one at fault
You actually had me believing that maybe I was just crazy
You had me asking myself, "damn what's wrong with you Hailie?"
Until that one night came, the one I'll never forget
You're the fucking reason why I'm even writing this shit
You wrote this motherfucking letter with the body you tainted
Thoughts of killing myself, that's the picture you painted
Controlled my body stole my soul, you drained my blood that day
You had me under your control, and then you had your way
You had to be in that room, all the bad things he could do
Truth be told y'all don't really wanna know the whole truth
It's something you had to see, my makeup all on his sleeve
I'm staring deep in his eyes, I thought he fucking loved me
I begged him please, please stop it please
Fucking stop it man, you're making me bleed
You continued anyways inside I wanted to die
Inside I wanted to cry, I want you out of my mind

Can you not see the pain you've caused me?
I know I should be blaming you, but I'm just stuck blaming myself
I should've never let my guard down
How could you just treat me like I'm nothing?

A couple of weeks had past, I started skipping school
I was turned into the school slut all because of you
You turned them all against me, somehow it's my fault
Little Miss perfect is not so perfect at all
There's a baby in me, there's no reversing that
The least you could have f- done was have my f- back
Contemplated my life, is there anyone there?
Is anyone gonna help? Or am I all by myself?
Now when I'm gone, there will be no bringing me back
I hope you bitches like that, I hope you bitches feel that (feel that)
I hope you feel my last breath
What should I do with myself?
We're getting closer to death
There's not a lot of time left
Every sign I see says to go left
You knew me better than myself
And you thought I wouldn't kill myself?
Guess what you're wrong, if you get to the end of this letter
You will see that things they could have been better

I hope you carry this weight for the rest of your life
I promise you're going to regret everything you did to me
The sad thing is even if one day you do decide to change it
It'll be too late for me
You weren't there when I needed you
I'm not someone you love
I'm your victim
Now think of me and let your tears run down this paper

See I've been contemplating life and death for a long while
Contemplating life and death for my unborn child
All the rumors, had gotten crazy, they're running rampant
I was, throwing water on the situation tryna damp it, you know
You all just wanted to fuel the fire, you all were manic
I was tryna calm myself while you were causing me to panic
If you asked for my opinion, simple, you all were stupid
Slowly breaking me down, I never thought that I would lose it
Never been the one to cry, that's what my daddy taught me
Feeling empty inside, I was a, dead girl walking
Was a, sad girl talking, didn't, know what to do
I tried, talking to you, your response was, "fuck you!"
Yeah fuck you bitch, you gave me too much shit
Fuck you and this motherfucking dumb relationship
I remember being told everything's irrelevant
My tears are falling won't you grab me an umbrella man?
But you're not a man, you faked the love we shared
'Cus if you really loved me you would not have went there
Went from the one who cared, to the one I fear
Our baby girl won't even experience day care
Listen you're not hurting yourself, you're hurting me too
That's my baby too, that's our baby dude
I mean how could you, go and force yourself right on me?
And now you laugh about it, when all it does is haunt me
Man I ain't do that shit, you know you lying bitch
You got me calling you out your name, man dammit, ahh
Man why are we doing this?
You have some issues girl, go ahead and go through with it
Or just calm down
No don't tell me to calm down man
You raped me dumbass, what don't you understand?
Are you that fucking stupid tell me what do you see in me?
I'm done talking and I hope you miss seeing me
If I even told the truth would anybody believe in me?
Would they listen to my story with true sorrow and sympathy?
I can't live like that, man I can't live like this
I've been back and forward fantasizing about this abyss
It's clear I've made my decision, and I'm sorry baby Hailie
Several months into this, it's all I think about daily
Vision fading away, everything's turning black
Yes you could have fucking saved me now there's no turning back
I hope you can live with that