A Shoulder to Die On

I found acceptance in you being sad
For me to be with you I never felt so glad
That you were here and you're still breathing
I got attached to your life as much as the fearing

And you asked if I'd be sad
If you left a note that "it wouldn't be so bad"
You said "if I ended it all tonight
I hope you know it's not your fault, alright?"

What the fuck do you expect me to say?
What the fuck do you expect me to say?

When I was six years old
I used to tear my hair out thinking it would solve
The itch in my head I couldn't quite scratch
And I've recovered since then but I could never go back and now

Maybe that is why I never cut my hair
I'm scared of when I used to tear it out without a care
From all the second-hand stress
I heard the door slam when you left

And you never said goodnight
No, you never said goodnight

And I'm scared that in the end
The remains of my smile are the only thing left
Like a sponge for emotional baggage
And one day it's gonna pile up too high

I'm not the pillow that you take your anger out on to
I don't wanna be the only one who cares
I'm not the pillow that you take your anger out on to
I don't wanna be the only one who cares
I'm not the pillow that you take your anger out on to
I don't wanna be the only one who cares
I'm not the pillow that you take your anger out on to
I don't wanna be the only one who cares