Find Yourself

In love games you made foul plays
Weaponized fragility
A disarming smile - dulce
Too quick to trust - naivete

Forgiveness for honesty was a fair trade
Couldn't speak above whispers because you forbade
Dug up mother's grave just to take her old place
You messed up all our lives now lay in what you've made

Color me jade but I think that you've strayed
You behave like a dog and a spade is a spade
I try to discuss you have nothing to say
All you do is complain, criticize or berate

I'm no scapegoat to slay or a timid bridesmaid
Manipulate who you want but I won't be afraid
You can try to degrade me, the terror's homemade
But I've got legions behind me ready to upraise

You tried to put me inside a stockade
While you lost sense of self in a fugue masquerade
No love bombing in play just a tongue lashing strafe
While the fruits of our family are left to decay

Done with your fucked-up power plays
Disowned when I disobey
Gave you my heart - you chose to betray
And yet I chose my fate - touchee

Looking through your eyes nearly drove me half mad
You passive-aggress malice through looking glass
My self image distorted the funhouse effect
My warped tulpa my nightmare your hatred reflects

Red painted, rage-ridden, rapacious with wrath
Try to keep moving forward with your knives in my back
Best stay out of my path or you risk an attack
I've escaped from the rack and I'm on the warpath

Have to give you your credit I'd almost been had
Thought I'd become my own mother, her sickness had passed
On to me the false shepard, but snakes in the grass
Left me fagged out and stressed, thrown off balance, harassed

But despite all your efforts I haven't collapsed
Won't succumb to the darkness around me that you've cast
Any curses thrown my way, my guides will combat
Now confront me like a man now that you've been unmasked