Starting Over.

Ayt let me talk real quick
Let me say some shit
Man people hopin on the dick
I don't wanna talk to y'all that's just being honest
People try to put me back down
When I actually have progress
Trust issues I'm a disappointment
I don't really want friends
I can feel the jealousy
5 am I'm smokin but its already morning

Shit that's new
I lost people
They don't really determine my worth
I was low no one was there
I'm better now, everybody judging
I'm better now I ain't tryna make excuses
The old me is dead
If you have a problem with him you could talk to the grave
Talk bad look at my face
I'm tryna make amends for all the mistakes
I know I fucked up
And I'm sorry
Now ima lock up
Down this bottle

I don't know why I got back with you just to fuck it up again
Her crying me smoking yeah that's how it always ends
Insecurities been creeping up lately
Me and jess in the studio
Only thing that makes me happy
Panic attacks hands shaking
Walls closing
Run to the toilet gotta vomit
That's what I've been going through
Codeine withdrawal
So much shit in my mind
I can't think straight
I can't think straight
I can't think straight
Let me light one up aye
Bro said its better to feel than to be numb
That's cap
I've been trying to better myself I still feel dumb
That's facts
Last night was a rollercoaster
Blood on the bathroom floor
I can feel the devil watching
But I know that God's got me
Knife through my wrist
A painful comfort
Life's a fucking bitch
The day is purple
My lungs feel tight
I can't breathe right
Everybody talking about my life they know so much about
Everybody think they know everything
Where everything is a fucking secret
I'm tryna grow as a person
But everybody dragging me down
The same people that were cool with me a week ago
Hates my guts now
I could open up my whole life to someone
One fuck up they gon turn
I feel like no one fucking understands
I feel like no one fucks with me for real
I tried to be a better person
But the past caught up to me
I don't like the old me
And that's not me presently

Now I sip lean
Just to cope
Fucking relapse
I can't cope
I'm gon die tonight
I'm gon die tonight
And its alright
Its alright
Bury me with a mic
And the raps I write
For my second life
It was never my intention to hurt
You think you know someone but you don't
I feel like no one gets me
I'm high with no sleep
You can see the pain in my laugh
Demons back from the past
I hated cigarettes
But now i like them
Twisting my words i cannot trust them
I'm screaming and crying in a car in 3 am
I'm cutting and crying in a bathroom in 4 am
I'm pouring up the lean in 5 am just to sleep
But i guess i gotta go through this
As a process to grow