A Painting of Birds

Driving home I saw an old man in a wheelchair with no legs
Made me feel so ashamed for spending days in bed
But then again it's possible that that's how I end
Maybe you were the only thing between me and him
Either way, it gave perspective, there are worse fates by far
Though that doesn't bring me comfort when I break down in my car
Or well up at the sight of a couple holding hands
Guess that makes me fragile, but after all, I'm just a man
Plus, I finally saw a doctor about that shaking in my hands
Won't know for a few weeks but she seems to think it's bad
If I were really sick, would you realize your mistake
Take it back and try to fix it before it's too late
I don't think that's how it works, but it's a comforting thought
For every new thing that I lose, I get back something that I lost
I can't help but entertain it, otherwise I'll fall apart
Like a reminder that I'm human will trigger something in your heart

Soon enough all the what-ifs always lead to crying
I could really use you now, you were always great with silver linings
Even as the one who hurt me, you're the one I wanna tell
Like the you that kicked me out is just really someone else
In a way, maybe she is, maybe she really changed
But I really just can't see it, the idea sounds so insane
How could I suddenly become a non-person in your eyes
And what you said was a few weeks might as well be overnight
I know stranger things have happened, people do it every day
But that never seemed like us, always felt so far away
Anyway, I've talked too long, maybe this song was a mistake
One more checkmark on the list of bad choices that I make
But I had to say my peace, force catharsis in a rhyme
It'd be great if you could call, if you ever get the time