Spikkin

Eilidh: Gran, that's everybody

Gran: All right, welcome! Take a seat, Blaire.
As the chair of our 81st Spikkin,
I want to make clear a few rules.
Ah- I know most of you know,
But for those that don't know

Both: Keep quiet when others are speaking
All points of view have the right to be heard at the stand
Stay 'till the end of the meeting
And if you've got something to add, clearly raise up your hand

Gran: We've all gathered here tonight to discuss an affa grave matter.
About our island, and the future-

Paul: I've got a gnomе has been stolen

Gran: Your gnome?

Paul: I left homе, 'twas the morning, by lunch, he was gone

Gran: Paul-

Paul: Has anyone seen him?

Gran: Paul!

Paul: Yellow and green with a waistcoat.
Poor Agatha's lonely without him

Gran: Agatha?

Paul: His wife

Gran: Right. That's nae quite what we're here to discuss

Paul: But-

Gran: Paul-

Paul: But!

Gran: Paul

Paul: But!

Gran: Paul

Paul: Sorry

Gran: The big land says it cannae afford to
Support our way of life any longer.
It's offered to rehouse us,
On the condition that we all quit the isle next month.
Our task now is to consider this
And any other option for next week's vote

Paul: Flashback. Twenty year ago,
My B&B, what a business, booming
Ha! Full of life, now we've more holes
In the roof than we've customers

Both: Where's the investment the big land promised us?

Paul: They're only giving us new homes to avoid
Spending cash on our island, and that's just not good enough!

Blaire: Farming, it's in our DNA
Ours is the last left on Kinnen
But this year's the worst we've had
We can't rival the farms on the big land and so
We've decided that we'll be voting to go

Man: Two things: funding and tourists.
They'll sort us. The boom will be back to you,
I guarantee it

Jenny: Can I? I think most of you know me,
But I'm Jenny, so- hi.
Since I first moved to Kinnen,
So much has improved on Kinnen.
Promise like nowhere I've been.
Cloudfish, blue hock, gulls,
Greater numbers than I've ever seen

Both: Even if we stay
It's evident our way
Of life's at the end of the rope

Jenny: But if we throw open our doors,
Kinnen's wildlife won't have a fighting hope

Woman: This is our home!

Jenny: It's theirs, too

Paul: We need tourists, not birds

Bill: Who cares about the lesser-spotted sea slug
When I can't pay my rent?

Jenny: Let's leave Kinnen to re-wild

Woman: Typical incomer

Man: Honest

Bill: Ay, she's only been here six months, what does she know?

Gran: Keep quiet when others are speaking

Both: All points of view have the right to be heard at the stand
Stay 'til the end of the meeting
And if you've got something to add, clearly raise up your hand

Gran: Oh, Braea, was there anything you want to share?
Oh, come on, it's not like you to be shy, Braea, up you go

Braea: New life
And me
I would stay
Kinnen's my family, but
No doctor
No teacher
It's clear our only hope for the future is
New blood
We need new neighbors, not just tourists.
Without incomers, Kinnen will die

Bill: We'll find a way we are

Paul: Easy for you to say, Bill, you're retired!

Bill: Cheek!

Paul: No school or kids, a lollipop man would never even get hired

Bill: We can't welcome everybody at the door!

Woman: It'd change things!

Gran: For the better!

Paul: You'll change your tune when they steal from you,
Though, won't you

Bill: And they'd pollute our way of life

Woman: Tourists! I say evacuate

Bill: You're only here half the year, what do you know?

(All speaking over one another)

Gran: Keep quiet when others are speaking
All points of view have the right to be heard at the stand
Stay 'til the end of the meeting

Eilidh (simultaneously): Hi, everyone! It's me,
Eilidh. Isn't there a way we can have the best of both worlds?
If we just listen to each other, then- sorry! I'm trying to speak

Both: And if you've got something to add, clearly raise up your hand

Eilidh: Hello?
Everybody!
Listen!