Heaven & Hell (feat. Miz Steel)

I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died 20 years ago
And I live like a man who is dead already
I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything

I've done had some dark days
And even darker nights
At times I feel like giving up
I don't have anymore fight
I wanna get to heaven but got to go through hell
Oh lord help me with this spell
I can't give up now
I don't wanna give up now

Two worlds in me, heaven and hell
So many chapters in my life, am I living to tell?
Man I'm sick of all this struggle, shit is sickening as hell; God I really wanna give up and start ringing the bell
Throw in the towel
I swear it's really draining my health Eight pills in my system, now I'm screaming for help
Nobody hears me, this is almost like the boy who cried wolf
When they find me hopefully my arm is giving a pulse
Fluoxetine running deep, it's like I'm stuck in a daze, I pray to God every night instead of counting my days
I've been climbing up this mountain for some years and some days
I remember living life like I'm stuck in a cage
Try to read me like a book, yet they're skipping a page
I understand, I ain't shit but I'm created this way
But I must be doing right if I'm standing today cause every time I look around it's like I stand in a grave

I've done had some dark days
And even darker nights
At times I feel like giving up
I don't have anymore fight
I can't, I can't give up now

If suicide is just the easy way out, then why is God at the gate saying 'see your way out'?
I thought about it, mentally I think I'm ready to go, but I don't think I have it in me to completely let go
Now every scar on my body is embedded in skin
Which means every time I'm down I wear a mask, I pretend
I pretend that all my struggles will just go with the wind
And I be thinking, bury me? Or let me flow with the wind?
This is suicide harmonies, but nobody cares
We always laugh like it's comedy because we ain't there
I'm a suicidal prodigy because I've been there, and I continue holding on because I know I've been spared
When I feel I'm at my lowest, believe me I'm scared
Have you ever needed someone and they couldn't be there?
Now imagine needing someone and they wouldn't be there
That's a feeling like no other, man, it shouldn't be shared

Dimming lights, why's it still so bright in here?
I'm facing all my fears, on the outside I feel pain
And I know I can't give in
Visions of brighter days, do I just be strong and stay?
Do I just be strong and stay?

I've done had some dark days
And even darker nights
At times I feel like giving up, I don't have anymore fight
I wanna get to heaven but got to go through hell
Oh lord help me with this spell
I can't give up now
I don't wanna give up now

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah