Step Back

It's crazy cause I really love life yet I'm always struggling
Job, school, people, drugs, hobbies, yeah I'm always juggling
Tryna get through it while I hide this shit like I'm smuggling
It's troubling, problems multiply when my money starts doubling
Barely even functioning, just fumbling and stumbling
Don't know what I care about, my foundation is crumbling
It's puzzling, cause all I hear is nothing but this mumbling
Can't stand the vanity and ignorance that it's summoning
I been so lost wandering, should be out here conquering
I just been sitting pondering what's the point of prospering
No point of writing authoring, get more money laundering
But I'm tryna make my peace with god, so this my offering
Every time I write it's like I got a spirit conjuring
But lately I been lazy, my talent just been squandering
Due to all these negative emotions that I'm fostering
Probably stems from the fact I never had any fathering

I was just a kid with a dream
No plan, no scheme, no friends no team
Didn't know what to do, I was new to this scene
Had to rethink it all, gave my image a new theme
Had to take a step back, cut down on the green
I'm just in it for the love, they just in it for the cream
I can no longer complain, cause I got what I need
Yet I still find myself caught up in my own greed
I was just a kid with a dream
No plan, no scheme, no friends no team
Didn't know what to do, I was new to this scene
Had to rethink it all, gave my image a new theme
Had to take a step back, cut down on the green
I'm just in it for the love, they just in it for the cream
I can no longer complain, cause I got what I need
Yet I still find myself caught up in my own greed

I ain't felt right in a minute, mind twisted, I'm addicted
Been feeling so distant, drown my problems in this liquid
Afflicted since an infant so this could've been predicted
The voices so wicked, they so loud, it's too vivid
They tell me I'm gifted, but I'm really just committed
I sit and write until the burdens on my spirit lifted
I don't know my own limit, I belong up in the clinic
I miss a lot of people, but don't wanna get specific
There's beauty in the struggle but the struggle full of pain
Don't matter if I try, can't get the past out my brain
Demons from decades ago make me question if I'm sane
Told you before got nothing to lose, and got nothing to gain
I did this to myself, no one else left to blame
Yeah, three years ago to now, it's just not the same
Star room, looking out the window, ashing on the pane
Nothing left to say, wonder if I lost my way

I was just a kid with a dream
No plan, no scheme, no friends no team
Didn't know what to do, I was new to this scene
Had to rethink it all, gave my image a new theme
Had to take a step back, cut down on the green
I'm just in it for the love, they just in it for the cream
I can no longer complain, cause I got what I need
Yet I still find myself caught up in my own greed
I was just a kid with a dream
No plan, no scheme, no friends no team
Didn't know what to do, I was new to this scene
Had to rethink it all, gave my image a new theme
Had to take a step back, cut down on the green
I'm just in it for the love, they just in it for the cream
I can no longer complain, cause I got what I need
Yet I still find myself caught up in my own greed