Long Slow Suicide

i am a person of survival
but growing up that was not really my tittle
a dead soul who was screaming for revival
a young girl who became suicidal

I felt the hits and the kicks of society
Probaly the reason why I suffer from anxiety
I was never in the form of perfection
So I became the best example of neglection
They called Me names from fat bitch to white trash
to other shit I won't say it's that bad
They call me up and would always need back up
call my a slut and say my family was jacked up
death threats every time I logged it
always on some other shit
damn here we go again
I was already alone
now Im looking for a friends
got no friends
so here I am
wishing it would end
and it didn't, it never did
was always something
everytime I felt Good they would remind me I was nothing
everytime I was down they couldnt help themselves but kick me,
it tore me a fucking part
took all the fight I had left in me
I had enough I was so fucking done
I couldn't face all the drama
so I decided to run
but you can't run forever
eventually you get tired
so I just stared at the rope wishing my life would expire
I mean fuck it if I am really nothing then nobody would stop me from taking that rope and jumping
so I took it
tied it round my little throat and proceeded to jump
when my mum burst on the door
I didn't know what to Do I didn't know what to say
I saw the tears in her eyes
I felt the pain go away
how could I be so selfish
how could I think that I was nothing when the person who gave me life obviously thought I was something
now I prey, prey for the people who never saw the light
prey for the people who still cry at night
and those people who think of my words like protection
think of them as the light when u fight depression
coz I know what it's lile
Ive been there before
but for every closed room
Im here to open a door
Im here to open a door