Do Better

No more holding back
Gotta' leave it all on the table
I got a new perspective
I channeled like watching cable
I deaded' my habits and doubts
The same way Cain did Able
But not over jealousy man
My thoughts got the best of me

You see in elementary
They told me that I had way too much energy
And tested me for ADHD, Tourette's, ODD
Put in slower classes
Even though I got A's even B's
Then my Grades dropped
Cause others found out
And were judging me
Frustrated
To the point
Was in suspension for some weeks
Started lying, skipping school
Knew that this wasn't for me
Only thing that ever saved me
Was my art
It gave me peace
All the while
I was having issues with my family
Hated my father for the fact I couldn't see him daily
I used to say he got his reasons
Then the hate grew weary
I went to therapy
And found out how much I need healing
12 years late for me
Man the thought of a revelation escaping me
Was becoming the man I told myself I would never be
Treated poorly by a few cousin's, auntie's and uncle's
The purity in me crumbled
Nobody I could look up to
Been disrespected
Shut out
All for them to just call me trouble
Then

Momma' gave me great advice
She told me let go let it be
She told me all I have is all I need
And all I need is faith to stand on
When nobody stands for me
There's parts of me
I started loving last week
That I never loved
Addressed all the attacks
I've had from all sides
Even love
See love for me was vicious
Lied on, cheated on, even beaten on
Indecisive partners who here one day
And the next they gone
Then I started lying and cheating
That's how the cycle goes
Subconsciously looking for revenge
And then the good ones go
Soon you become a reflection
Of all your exes
And the next after the next
Are just left to deal
Wit your messes

I'm so tired
Man I hate how I feel
Wanted to commit suicide
A few times i'll be real
One time at 9, 16, 21, 23
Yes I said 23
That's a year from where I be

But let's settle it down
The air still
Sky rumbling
Tell me how
Did I make it this far
God I finally see it now
Got a bigger part for me
In this vision
That you laid out
Imagine at a point
I tried to renig
Man I wanted out
Lost my sense of purpose
I dropped my faith
Never turned around
Until I learned that I could unlearn the lies
That were goin round
Cause what goes around
Will come around
And really tell you bout
All the ones you thought were for you
Always hated how you smiled
Glad I found God again
Reminded me what this is bout'

Don't dim the light you bring
It's all you have
So please
Be patient with your flame
Be patient with your flame for me
Be patient with the light you bring
Yeah

Don't dim the light you bring
It's all you have
So please
Be patient with your flame
Be patient with your flame for me
Be patient with the light you bring

Gave you a little glimpse in my life
And I don't regret it
Aint' did it if I aint' said it
What I say you know I meant it
My story is one I dreaded
Till I knew where God was headed
In this very moment listen
I free myself from this prison
Woah
Who knew I would grow
Who knew that this lack
Would keep me on my toes
I knew that this life
Would come and it would go
But I ain't know my day ones
Would leave before my day fours
Can't waste any time
Can't waste way my life
It's up and it's stuck
I finally arrived
Things could've ended differently if I gave up my pride
If I stopped tryna' hide from God to hold on to the lies
The deception and the ties
That are toxic to the eye
When I needed people most
They always left me out to dry
Tell me where was my advice
I had no shoulder I could cry
I just get a text back
Saying next time we can try
But what if I aint' promised next time
And I die
Then how would you feel?
Would you care at all?
Would you shed any tear?
I know
It's pretty hard to comprehend
But I bet when I no longer call you
I will have offen'
Did
You ever do your part?
Listen I know you got scars
But don't we all?
I don't want you to miss out
On your chance to say it all
Say it all

Don't dim the light you bring
It's all you have
So please
Be patient with your flame
Be patient with your flame for me
Be patient with the light you bring
Yeah

Don't dim the light you bring
It's all you have
So please
Be patient with your flame
Be patient with your flame for me
Be patient with the light you bring

I gotta know
God
Why you choose me?
I know you got a plan for me
But some days I can't take it
No more
I
I want to be set free
Yeah
Want to be set free

I used to feel like
I had to take it all
Put it on my shoulders
Yeah I had to pay the cost
Soon then I learned the cost was already for
That don't mean that I won't fall
Just means that I fan shake it off
I was made in his image
So that means that I'm a boss
That mean that I'm a
Boss
That mean that you a boss
Put your hands up in the sky
If you know that you a boss
It don't matter bout your handicaps
Or any of your flaws
It don't matter bout' the times
That you did all them wrongs
Either lay down to the enemy
Or keep on moving on
This is crazy faith I know
But this a tone that's set in stone
Cause I know he will provide
If we keep on moving on
Yea
Yea
I'm a boss
I was born to fail
No wasn't supposed to be here at all
Then God gave the call
So you know I had to ball