Hey, What's the Opposite of Serendipity? (Moving Back Home)

I'm blowing cigarette smoke through the fan in my window in my parents' home
It's an old habit I picked up again when I went out on my own
It's not the worst habit I restarted from when I was young
I feel like I'm fucking 14 again, like everything is wrong

And I feel myself falling away
The personality I tried to cultivate
All the signs can clearly be seen
I still can't believe I lived past 16

It's all coming back now even though I thought that I had conquered it
I'm still feeling the same way I did back then, I guess I'm not over it
I can feel you falling away to make room for more concerning thoughts
I should have been expecting this, I guess I forgot

And I feel it rushing back to me
The feelings I fought consistently
All it took was one sort of major change
This was not a stroke of serendipity
Serenity now, somewhere somehow

I've been looking through the key holes in all the doors in this place
Trying to find an alternate reality that maybe I could face
I can't find a single way to be able to look myself in the eye
Say goodbye to me, I think that I might have died

So yes, I'm gonna have a cigarette
Wave goodbye to all my hard work and sweat
I know that when I finally leave
I'll just start again, oh please... serendipity