The Ballad of Seymour Better Times

Seymour was a work of art
Always getting into trouble
Never met a lass he didn't love
Never loved a lass that didn't have a hubba hubba hubba hubba

Seymour wasn't very smart
So he soon got a reputation
A list of suitors with reservations
To send him on a permanent vacation

He said, I will live to fight another day
I'll sing a song and soon be on my way
My journey may be long before I'm done
So won't you play the drums

Seymour met a girl named Phil
Phil was sweet as honey
She liked fancy things
But Seymour didn't have no money money money money

Soon she stole his heart
And acquired a knack for thieving
So when the coppers broke down the front door
Seymour was outback leaving leavin' leavin' leavin'

I will live to love another day
I'll sing a simple song to ease my pain
My journey may be long to sweeter shores
So won't you play the horns

On the road to a better place
Bells ring, birds sing
Nightly dreaming of those pearly gates
How long must we roam
'Til I can go home

Seymour got it in his head
To change his sinful ways
Become a man of the cloth
No longer would he stra-ay-ay-ay

But on his way to church
Seymour received a sing
A messenger from the good Lord
In red high heels with blue-oo eyes

He said, I will praise the Lord in my own way
And revel in his creation everyday
My journey may require me some grace
So let the choir sing

(Old ladies singing)
On the road to a better place
Bells ring, birds sing
Nightly dreaming of those pearly gates
How long must I roam
'Til I can go home