,HE" from the Night

Please tell me, why does my mind
Goes to sad places during the night
Every melody is under the sea
Between the light and happy me

I want to cry, but tears just don't flow
I want to rip my heart to shreds for them to show
The faces above me made out of gold
These are the stars I can't reach for sure

Behind everbody
Canvas still blank
Without any weapon
I can't reach the state
When I am proud of anything I make
Trapped in this loop of repeated mistakes

A lump in my throat
Dark water in my mind
Doubting every word
I wrote in the night
No matter what I sing
It's never good enough
Far behind the people
I watch between the stars

Am I doing something wrong?
I've lost my own way?
I did some mistakes?
Just tell me, I can't wait
Far beyond the laughs
I read between the lines
Don't care if it isn't healthy
Or if it affects my sight

Now I'm sitting here
Writing as I speak
I read every word
And then I turn to sign
But I know that tomorrow
It may be a brand new me
Without the darkness
Or happy as he should be

But just remember that
The Jordan from this night
May return to crush
Any happy mind
So wait patiently
As he goes away
And welcome the dawn
Happily on your way