(Stupid Songs About) American Girls

Mary does the dishes
Or maybe it was Wendy
Sometimes people seem just like ciphers to him
He finds it hard to explain it
Moving through the night
Pothole has done for the rear axel
One or two streetlights still out
Gonna have to call the council!

He thought there'd be THUNDER IN THE STREETS
But it's raining all over the world
And all he's gots a song
The same as every other stupid song
About American Girls

Now some folks are born to keep moving I guess
Like a shark or old Republican
But a man can't be both Abel and Cain
If he's gonna want to amount to somethin'
Moving through the night
Blood could boil and hearts could jump
But every thirty feet
There's roundabouts and speedbumps

He'll never hear the screen door slam
Eat at the diner or the bar and grill
And all he's gots a song
The same as every other stupid song
About American girls

And the Boss changed the rules of the game
And Cougar got a new surname
And somewhere along the way
He forgot he was supposed to be running

Now before you move along there Mister
Try and spare a thought for Wendy
Sometimes she gets so damned confused
Is she a metaphor or a simile?
Moving through the night
He thought it would be all cars and sex
But he's five thousand miles out
Here its takeaways and Netflix

He wants to watch you when you're sleeping
Sounds kinda creepy but go take your fill
And all he's gots a song
The same as every other stupid song
As every other tired song
As every other hopeless song
Come on and sing along!

Sha la la la la la la
La la la la
Hey.