Ugly Christmas Sweater

We hadn't been together for all that long
We were sitting by the fire when "I'll Be Home For Christmas" came on
That rum and eggnog was a little too dark
Cuz I invited you for Christmas at the trailer park

Now I'm clearing snow (off the flamingos)
At the doublewide, (I can't invite you inside!)
It's done, thought you'd turn and run
But then you showed up with that sweater on

Watching Die Hard with my daddy on the old TV
Aunt Sally's getting lit up like the Christmas tree
And when momma starts crying over burning the turkey
You're dashing through the snow to pick up KFC
Baby, baby, you never looked better
Than you do in that ugly Christmas sweater
Oooh!
Oooh!

We've all been on the naughty list for way too long
Grandma's tokin', Old ford's broken,
and sitting up on blocks on the lawn
I got three cousins, they're still on the run
Cause the sheriff don't like you havin' too much fun

We're drinkin' two-buck chuck (like it's the finest champagne)
I got a blue jean tux (under the tree with your name)
Where you been, you know you fit right in
In that sweater from the Target bargain bin

Watching Die Hard with my daddy on the old TV
Aunt Sally's getting lit up like the Christmas tree
And when momma starts crying over burning the turkey
You're dashing through the snow to pick up KFC
Baby, baby, you never looked better
Than you do in that ugly Christmas sweater

Shootin' fireworks, a not so silent night
Gonna deck the halls with empty Miller Lites
It's little offside but it's what we do
I'd spend more than 12 crazy Christmas days with you
Oooh!
I'd spend more than 12 crazy Christmas days with you!
Oooh!
Oooh!

Watching Die Hard with my daddy on the old TV
Aunt Sally's getting lit up like the Christmas tree
And when momma starts crying over burning the turkey
You're dashing through the snow to pick up KFC
Baby, baby, you never looked better
Than you do in that ugly Christmas sweater