Aliens, Keep Your Distance!

PA: "Aliens from galaxies near and far
Welcome to Earth's Visitor Center
We have the fluffiest clouds
And some of the cowiest cows in the quadrant
Please watch this brief orientation video
To help you enjoy your stay."

Welcome to our humble world
We may not be the brightest but we're the most spiritual!
Yeah, we're cruisin' in the Goldilocks
We wrote the book on dashing infants 'gainst rocks

We've had not one World War but two
Then we make scary movies about what you *might* do
Even though we're the craziest
In a 100-parsec radius

Genocide is not just a concept—
It's something we've practiced plenty of times
If you come on vacation
You better be rich or Caucasian white
(These are the kinds of alien we like.)

Aliens, keep your distance!
You know we don't like visitors
Who don't speak English—now that's just odd—
Cause we're the greatest planet like you would not believe!

Aliens, keep your distance
You know we don't tolerate visitors
Who love their math more than our God
Who made this planet just for our needs!

Not yours, it's not yours
It's ours, it's not yours

That tiny top of the food chain—that's us
Bet your tentacles taste good with soy sauce!
When it comes to a-shootin' we don't need a reason
You should see what we did once to a pigeon

Yeah, we're proud to be the shadiest
Burned to a crisp the most scientists (who needs them?)
Sent to hell the most atheists
Deviants, non-conformists, activists

When it comes to global pollution
We've outdone ourselves
We like to misunderstand evolution
As f*** everyone and everything else
Yeah, f*** everyone in this Universe

It's not yours, it's ours!

Aliens, keep your distance
You know we don't take prisoners
And when we do, we torture them
'Cause we're the greatest planet
That's ever formed from dust

Aliens better keep your distance
No, thanks, we don't need your assistance
You steal our jobs, we'll deport your ass
We built this planet just for those who look like us!

Not yours, it's not yours
It's ours, it's not yours

Aliens better keep that distance
Oh, we know you don't celebrate Christmas
But don't worry, when we come to visit
We'll drop some books together with our bombs



Credits
Writer(s): Gom Jabbar, Plamen Arnaudov
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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