Bye Bye Sweetie Pie

Mona was spectacularly metaphorical
Ready to pop like a champagne cork
Said Austin,Texas was the new California
Said California is the old New York

TV Ron with his pocket fisherman
Goes head to head with Late Nite Dave
Hucksters and the gospel of the essence of orange
Cook a baked potato faster than a microwave

I got two bucks for Duane - two for Willie
If they would just stop ringin' my bell
Can't tell the rock star from the preacher
Door to door with nothin' to sell

Meanwhile... Mona, she's waiting
For that next great rainbow
TV Ron's in the kitchen with Dinah
And his Bo Diddley Tremolo

You see it all shakes just right in triplets
Dinah's always got the perfect alibi
Just the maid in the kitchen in apron and high heels
Singin' bye bye Sweetie Pie

And it's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line
Bye bye bye Sweetie Pie
Just take the 4:19 out of New Orleans
Don't look back and you'll do fine

Just like Jesus, Mona spoke in parables
Verily I say unto thee
It's easier to get the camel through the eye of the needle
Than for you to get to me

And I say yeah... That's a pretty loose translation
Seems it happens all the time
It's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line

Daddy says Mona is crazy
Mona's mama might be crazy too
Saw it clear in some old cold coffee grounds
Got no reason to doubt it's true

Mona rode the Red Bull 9 to 5
Took her gun calmly in her hand
Shot a hole through the heart of the very best part
Found a loophole in The Master Plan

She said smokin' is for relaxation
She said drinkin' is for the pain
She said TV Ron is for pocket fishing
Pictures for the rain

And it's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line
Bye bye bye Sweetie Pie
Take the 4:19 out of New Orleans
Don't look back and you'll do fine

When she was younger, Mona left all her earthly possessions
Hit the highway to pass the test
Spent a week with the Benedict Brothers
Doin'the Tahlequah Hitchhike Spiritual Quest

And who's this waiting in the wings
In a chandelier themed disguise?
Why, it's TV Ron - the pocket fisherman
Studying every nervous twitch in Mona's eyes

I can hear God a calling
Through this fog of worldly haze
Try to face this fear of falling
Lost in a twisted maze

And still I pray God will catch me
As I tumble into the dark and the deep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to keep

How long before the Brookside robbery
Makes it to the Channel Six News?
Black and white surveillance camera movie
Looks like Mona's got the Brookside Blues

And it's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line
Bye bye bye Sweetie Pie
Take the 4:19 out of New Orleans
Don't look back and you'll do fine

When reality falls short of visions
When the light of day falls short of dreams
Maybe we'll all be found wanting
With our favorite little half-baked schemes

Maybe if you pray it loud enough
Maybe you won't be afraid of the dark
But the closer you get to the finish line
The greater chance of missing the mark

Now if you chase after every rainbow
Make a wish on every star
You just might end up counting used rosary beads...
For late night tips at the local bar

Osama's dead - bullet in the head
Cowboy style - right between the eyes
Suicide bombers still dream of paradisiacal virgins
And the death toll is expected to rise

But I got new strings on my paisley Telecaster
I got my custom Bo Diddley tremolo
Mona's dancin' - that's all I ever asked for
Whoa Baby... Baby we gotta go!

And it's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line
And it's bye bye bye Sweetie Pie
Take the 4:19 out of New Orleans
Don't look back and you'll do fine
Don't look back and you'll do fine
Don't look back and you'll do fine

I knew a guy who felt so much in the dark
He signed his name with a question mark
Bought a secondhand rosary from a used up secondhand nun

I saw him at the Queen of Hearts when he first came in
Dazed and confused as to where to begin
Asked the hostess if she'd ever twisted fate's tattooed arm just for fun

Justin and Jack seemed pumped up and hell-bent
On being the night's only entertainment
But when the crowd thinned out, Mr. Question Mark asked to do his thing

He said, "This is the way it is - And this is the way it goes..."
Pulled the old rosary from his pocket and wiped his nose
Counted the beads backwards and prayed for an early spring

Now if you chase after every rainbow
Make a wish on every star
You just might end up counting used rosary beads...
For late night tips at the local bar

Meanwhile... Mona, she's waiting
For that next great rainbow
TV Ron's in the kitchen with Dinah
And his Bo Diddley Tremolo

And it's bye bye Sweetie Pie
Better move it on down the line
Bye bye bye Sweetie Pie
Just take the 4:19 out of New Orleans
Don't look back and you'll do fine
Don't look back and you'll do fine
Don't look back and you'll do fine
Don't look back and you'll do fine