I Wish

Lately, I've been down
Questioning my life
Just tryna figure shit out
Cause nothing seems to go right
I wanna throw in the towel
But I can't give up the fight
Man
I wish things could be different

I swear to God that I've tried
But so many nights that I've cried
Sometimes wishing I would just die
But I can't leave, I gotta be the tree
To grow the apples of my eye
And they're watching me, so I gotta be
On my P's & Q's at all times
I gotta be strong
But sometimes it's hard to hold on
So sick of being alone, I'm
Forced to sit on the throne, Why
Does everything gotta be up to me
When I'm overwhelmed to the bone
Don't know how much more that I can take
Before I lose control of my dome

But sometimes I feel like I need to escape
Sometimes I feel like no one can relate
Sometimes I think it'll never get better
Cause inside my mind
The depression is great
Just let me be great
I don't want nothing but bills to be paid
Mouths to be fed
Somewhere to lay
A circle of friends that don't turn into snakes
I'm so tired of the stress
It's hard not to focus on all my regrets
I just wanna do better and be a go-getter
Not settle for less
Man
But what the hell do you when
Everyday it's like something else
Is just weighing down on you
Damn
When's it gonna get lighter
Is it gonna get brighter
Just pass me the lighter
Cause I'm tryna get higher
So I ain't gotta think about everything
That I'm going through
That makes people say,
"Man, I'll pray for you
You a hell of a fighter!"

Lately, I've been down
Questioning my life
Just tryna figure shit out
Cause nothing seems to go right
I wanna throw in the towel
But I can't give up the fight
Man
I wish things could be different

Ion even know what I did
To deserve the mess that I'm in
But it's got me contemplating on sin
And I pray to God that I can find a job
That I don't always dread to clock in
Cause I'm about to lose it, I'm a lit fuse
And I can blow at any second
I need to cool down
Take a couple shots of that Crown and
Break the Swisher on down, then
Fill it up with that loud
Cause it's the only thing
That really keeps me sane
From all the crazy things in my mind
Besides the kids I had, and the pen n' pad
And the hope that one day I'll shine

But sometimes I feel like I'm never enough
Sometimes I feel like I wanna give up
Sometimes I get so discouraged
That I cannot flourish
And I'm the one holding me up
Yeah I'm holding me back
I'm the worst critic that I've ever had
Don't like my teeth and my stomach's not flat
Don't like the sound of my voice when I rap
Insecurities killing me
Through my head like a Kennedy
Taking shots from my enemies
I cannot let em get to me
Playing me like they friend to me
Calling me sis like they kin to me
Really they just want the end of me
I got the remedy
Take all the negative people and energy
Make em a memory
They say if you want change, you gotta make it
If you see a chance, you need to take it
If you got a fear, man, you need to face it
And they say
If you got a dream, then
You need to chase it
Got a talent, never waste it,
Just embrace it and get a paycheck, but

Lately, I've been down
Questioning my life
Just tryna figure shit out
Cause nothing seems to go right
I wanna throw in the towel
But I can't give up the fight
Man
I wish things could be different

I wish things could be different