Mind of a Manic

I can crash if I want to
You can't tell me what to do
I plan to run at my own pace
These my shoes, I'll tie my own laces

Cause one thing I know I got is me
I don't have time to hate so I have no enemies
But I got fire coming for my back
And it's gonna set blaze the second I lack
Here's a fact
My momma didn't raise a bum
She told me I'll always be smart enough to stay away from guns
She had confidence in her youngest son
It really hurts that I'll never find a better love
Most nights I miss my family
I won't tell them though, it's not because I'm weak
It just hurts my heart when they say they miss me
I still have a niece and nephew I have to meet
We don't speak
I'm talking about my dad
And man that shit really makes me sad
I won't speak bad on his name, I wish him the best
I wouldn't be here if my mom and him hadn't met

I'm not tryna do it by myself
But depression is my mental heath
If you think it's gonna hold me back
Then your not the friend I thought I had
I'm not tryna do it on my own
This sickness makes me feel so alone
If you think it's gonna hold me back
Then your not the friend I thought I had

I can crash if I want to
You can't tell me what to do
I plan to run at my own pace
These my shoes, I'll tie my own laces

You're in the mind of manic
So many dark thoughts, you would think I would panic
On those extra dark nights
Your mind screaming for you to turn off every light
Gives you freight
Heart racing, you're struggling to breathe
Past traumas in your head refusing to leave
I used to wish I wasn't broken
Until I realized it made me who I am
I won't go unnoticed

I'm not tryna do it by myself
But depression is my mental heath
If you think it's gonna hold me back
Then your not the friend I thought I had
I'm not tryna do it on my own
This sickness makes me feel so alone
If you think it's gonna hold me back
Then your not the friend I thought I had

I can crash if I want to
You can't tell me what to do
I plan to run at my own pace
These my shoes, I'll tie my own laces