Alone on Christmas

You deserve tinsel rash
You deserve gift cards for shops that you've never shopped at
You deserve burnt food, no booze
And 'All I Want For Christmas' in your head on loop
You deserve long conversations with drunken family members
And shopping centre carparks every weekend of December

And although we never got along
And I love it when your plans go wrong
Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas

But you deserve to babysit sugar-crashing children
And acapella Christmas albums
Unless you like that
And then you get
No acapella Christmas albums
Deserve to wrap gifts in odd-shaped boxes
Fairy lights tangled up in knots
And to give someone a gift you think they'd like
But their eyes tell you that they do not

And you know I wouldn't shed a tear
If you're lonely every day next year
But nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas

Being a Grinch is not my style
But my heart shrinks three sizes every time I see you smile
I hope that Santa brings to you
A very scary Christmas and a crappy New Year
But seriously, I hope yours are bad

And so I wish that you'd get hit
By piles of flying reindeer shit
I made my list and checked it twice
And that's right
You're still a total dick

Even though our less-than-jolly history
Makes me wanna set fire to your Christmas tree
Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas
Nobody deserves to be alone on Christmas
Except you