Living

I see flashing lights in the distance
It pains me to take this spatial inspiration off the playlist
If only you could remember me as I once was
Overcoats and purses laced for the onslaught
Fear is not taut
It is learned
And it is burned into the brain with a steel poker
And we all bear the choker
Wear your fairest
And carry the casket you pushed them into you unruly fascist while you hid behind a system that insists
It's democratic
Oh but I can't say that
Oh but I can't say that
Light show
A phosphorescent group of peasants playing rhythmic tunes adjacent to the system's prize-ed pheasant
Shortened up and cooked embezzlement of holiness with dents in it...
But's what's left of it

I'm a bully for myself
And for the health and wealth that I enjoy when I'm sober so few and farther 'cause the l onliness is over when I Imbibe
When I imbibe
When I imbibe
I'm a scribe
I'm a bribe
A walking one-woman tribe
A forward drive when the noise inside becomes too much and won't subside
So I do all I can to hide
To funnel doubt into my pride
And clear my own internal guide so she won't pull me through this time
I'm selfish.
And when I arrive
You'll feel resentment
Like a swift kick from settlements that displaced current residents
And we serve it up as history deep fried with self-defense in it
And now what's left of it

I alienated all my friends
They're out to lunch ordering steak with scorch marks and forsaking brown paper baggies and still I'm lagging
But what is lack
Except a miscellaneous aspiration you can't consummate 'cause your ass's aptitude is staggering
Blasphemy
Now I'm just broadcasting my vocabulary so I can adduce that my estuary erudition was a valid pursuit
'Cause I was bullied in the locker room for being someone who could light a fuse
So I fall back on that
Like Poseidon striking a rock with his trident it lets me sigh with ease provided someone else
Is the one driving
Or else I'm fucking helpless
Or else I'm helpless
I'm helpless
I'm fucking helpless