happy nye

I
Spent the day indoors
So I walked down to the corner store
To buy cigarettes
When one fat raindrop decided to murder me
It splashed right between the rim of my glasses
And I, thought was the ghost of you
But that was something that I made up to tell myself

Sometimes I
Spend an entire day
On the internet, until my eyes get red and the my head
Starts to ache
But I like watching things with voices in them cause' it
Fills the empty space inside my room so it feels less lonely
I like it when you tell me about your day
But sometimes I think I'm lying to myself

It's the moment
Where I try and quit
All of my bad habits that I've
Picked up over time
Oh its almost New Years Eve
I know I'm not the same old me, that same-old-me is dead
She's buried with all of last years chaos
This year has wreaked a lot of fucking havoc
And I'm over it but it's time to face the lies I tell myself
The lies I tell myself

It's like I'm stuck in one big fever dream that feeds of tragic circumstance
That I'm only beautiful
If I'm a China bowl that's pretty when I crack
And it's absurd, it makes no sense, to say out loud
But sometimes I think I need to be hurting, to be heard
It makes no sense
It makes no sense

I like to say things out loud
So it doesn't get stuck in my brain
So I don't make up things
To make myself sound sane
And maybe it's all one big lie