drive (home alone)

I spent sixty percent of my time today trying not to eat until it hurts
It's pathological, I'm sure, but how illogical to hurt myself so often
I'm impressed, you'll never love me like the next
There's no camaraderie between us like there is between two girls
And though I'm socialized just like a guy, I've never felt like one
I'll be honest, my broad shoulders barely fit in clothes I want
There's this connection between my weight and wearing all the shit I need
But my pain proceeds my eating just as ground proceeds my feet

I have an apology to make, but it's preemptive
I am incentivized to skip this town, but sure, I'll stay for breakfast
I remember when I left you, I was sensitive
I may have lost that for a few months, but my chest is ready to explode
And what a shame you had to drive home alone
And when I need you, I will try to keep that dumb shit to myself

I need fifty percent of your time today and twenty percent of your laugh
It's pathological, I'm sure, but how illogical to touch my death so often
I am blessed, but I fear nothing like the rest
Of thoughts, I have between the times that my mind tries to get to rest

And though I'm socialized just like the boys, and the girls that are content
Boys felt like they're to blame for some hardship and disconnect
There's this connection between the fact I spend the other forty freaking out
I don't know how to stop myself from restless pacing in my house

I have an apology to make, but it's preemptive
I am incentivized to skip this town, but sure, I'll stay for breakfast
I remember when I left you, I was sensitive
I may have lost that for a few months, but my chest is ready to explode
And what a shame you had to drive home alone
And when I need you, I will try to keep that dumb shit to myself