muni-muni pt. 1

I light it up, I let it spark
It's the Writer in the Dark
Another year around the sun
A lot of change, a lot of scars
My Mama and my Papa more intense about my art
My brother not a baby
And I feel we've grown apart
We used to walk to Bart
And I was showing him some Pac
I was showing him some Steez
We were waiting at the stop
He used to ask me when I'm finna make it to the top
So I could pay for all the things we never had
And never got
I don't know a recent memory my pops and I had laughed together
Tried to teach me how to swim
Checking in the Hampton Inn
Amidst the fights my Mom and him
Getting kicked up out the crib
Distract us from the problems
It was something we found solace in
Driving with the window down
Sticking out my head
Take my brother to his therapy off Junipero Serra
Before we hit the stairs, we would eat a Banh Mi
He was smoking, coughing
I always told him, Stop, please
He never listened, though
Honestly now I feel him though
It's easier to feel high up in the ceiling
As opposed to be low like modified Honda Civics
I'm 26 and I'm falling to my affliction
When I was Catholic, walking up to confession
I used to ask the Father how many mistakes forgiven
I even asked forgiveness for sins that my pops committed
I asked 'em, What is the cost of taking my life
They flinching
And I detect it, I slowly retract the sentence
I'm sorry, I was kidding and lying, so I repent
It was me and my Mama at Kaiser for my inhaler
Receptionist slid a paper, a questionnaire
Have you ever thought of suicide? Yes
Depression at a high? Yes
They show my Mama what I marked
The worry in her eyes
I mean
I think I filled it out wrong
Don't worry, Mama, I'm strong