Polished Shoes

Thirty years of education and a Ph.D.
I couldn't buy a job selling Christmas trees
Then I ran into the man who brought me the news
And taught me the secret of polished shoes
Now I get calls for jobs three times a day
And my financial problems have all gone away
Polished Shoes Polished Shoes Polished Shoes
Polishes Shoes

I want to save the world, yeah that's my plan
But I get no respect as a bare-foot man
So I washed off the paint from the Amazon
And shined both my shoes till the mud was gone
Now I'm closing the hole in the ozone layer
And bringing back species that have been gone for years
Polished Shoes Polished Shoes Polished Shoes
Polishes Shoes

In the 21st century, you're going to need three things
You'll need a pretty girl and a diamond ring
A three-piece suit, any color will do
But don't you forget those polished shoes
Just drag out that box and shine them with care
And all of your problems vanish in the air
Polished Shoes Polished Shoes Polishes Shoes
Polished Shoes