Alzheimers Angel

(Pipe that shit up, TNT)

Oh yeah she an Angel, but cursed with Alzheimers
Don't want to restrain you, that conflict cause fires
Growing up I shamed you, running round with small timers
Trying to get my name up, doing wrong it's all finer
You might not know, but you got a big heart
Or remember that's fine, you did spark
This fire in me, I get start
Decisions I made, you a big part
I'd be lying, to say it ain't hard to see
This decline, in yo' memory
And overall health, you steadily
Losing grip, of what's reality
You wake up every morning seven on the dot, and causing chaos
Thinking someone came in the night and stole from you, you blame us
"Did you take my clothes, did you take my 'mote, or take my containers?"
"I'ma call the police get you put in jail, tell me where they are"
I be falling asleep 'round six-thirty, but I'm used to that
I don't sleep at night 'cause my own demons, I'm fused to that
That ain't Gertrude it's the Alzheimers, when I get 'cused for that
I don't tell outsiders how far you gone, ain't a use for that
Bro just sent me a vid' last week, about some remedies they doing
I ain't even bother to watch it, something about some memory influence
Damn, truth be told, I ain't want to get my hopes up
I know, what's going on with you affect the both us
Matter fact, all us in the crib, it's like we getting choked
All the norm' was strangled out, and now it ain't nowhere to go
You might not remember but, Nana was the first words I spoke
And thinking we gon' have to bury you, put knots in my throat
I think as soon as Grandad passed, is when it started getting worse
It wasn't no issue, it's just age, how we saw it first
As time progressed the more we saw, the more it hard and hurts
Your mind is dead but you ain't gone, and all that departed in bursts
You took care of all of us, so we gon' back that
You ask about that girl sometimes, and I been had that
I woke up crying next to her, I dreamed of Grandad
It's a warzone in my head, it's worse than Baghdad
We ain't okay but if you ask, then we tell you we are
And we gave up trying to explain, because you gone to far
I wish that you could see the damage, that this do to Ma'
Because we know it ain't intentional, but still it's hard
To see what was a strong women, oh so hopeless
The lady that would do for all, you always selfless
I know the feeling I be hopeless, but i'm selfish
Unless it's you or family, my kindness melted
All us feel the same pain, but we keep it hidden
But I told ma', don't go put you in no assisted living
'Cause let 'em treat you bad, and I go pull a bunch of killings
And not just men, I wouldn't care to do the same to women

Oh yeah she an Angel, but cursed with Alzheimers
Don't want to restrain you, that conflict cause fires
You might not remember but, Nana was the first words I spoke
And thinking we gon' have to bury you, put knots in my throat