Snake Oil

Sometimes I have little fights with the voices in my head
Where we argue over what to say
Sometimes when the doorbell rings I sit quietly and wait
Until whoever it is just goes away
I binge watch shows I used to hate back when I was a kid
As the dishes pile up in the sink
I'll get around to cleaning up when it becomes less impossible
And I have some more energy

You can't see where I am with my head down in the sand
Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends
Maybe I should just give up - stop pretending I'm in charge

I hold that thought for a little bit
It sounds good, but I can't swallow it
Or I know I'll never fit
This snake oil salesman's discarded skin

My missed calls are building up
They've started towering well above my engineer sensibilities
I tell myself I'll call them back when they cease to be attacks on my fragile boundaries
You can't see where I am with my head down in the sand
Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends
Maybe I could use some help so I can lift this load

I swallow my pride for a little bit
It tastes nice, but I can't stomach it
Or I know I'll never fit
This snake oil salesman's discarded skin

A means to an end is where I begin
Chasing my tail back into my skin
Sew me in a refuse sack
So I can't climb out
Dragging you all down
As you turn your backs
Wandering off like a metaphor
For
The regrets I have

I'm snug under the radar where nobody will search for me
Circling the airport in a marvellous pedalled flying machine

You can't see where I am
With my head down in the sand
Swipe me left, filter set for my closest online friends
Can I stay another day leading me astray?

I hold that thought for a little bit
It sounds good, but I can't follow it
Or I know I'll never fit
Or I know I'll never fit
Oh I know I'll never fit
Oh I know I'll never fit