Anthem for the Big Christmas Brawl

Laura Dern as your mom
With a cranberry pop
And the season spins on its side

When you peak past the seeds
Of the clementines please
Remember that it's Yuletide

And toboggans they rise
From the grave of that guy
Who invented sleds in the first place

And Santa dreams on
Of a snow-covered lawn
And presents all up your in face

Hey watch for that thief
With the wreath in his teeth
Pretending he's the queen of the night

And ole Joey Jo
With a baby in tow
Says "enough with the myrrh, god, alright?"

Fireside Fred
Smells like he's quite dead
Or a reindeer who forgot to bathe

We all said a prayer
In Chevy Chase underwear
That Frosty would come out unscathed

From the big Christmas brawl
All for one, one for all!
We deck the halls with key lime pie

And Jesus was born
On a warm Texas morn
As the drummer boy fell from the sky

Into a pile of geese
And a warm polar fleece
That you didn't put on Santa's list

But your family is here
Drinkaling sparkling beer
Guess we all got our big Christmas wish