Disappointment

When I was 5,
I thought 16 was the apitimy
Of "all grown up"
I'd have a boyfriend
And a car
And my best friend from 1st grade
I'd be tall and skinny as a rail
The stick in which boy's hearts impaled
I'd have knowledge enough for a large group of friends
And straight A's

I must of gone to Jupiter
'cause all I got was stupider
And I'm also really bad at making friends
I don't wake up early to put my hair in curls
And on top of it all I like girls
So I guess I failed myself in the end
Growing up, my parents expectations were 10x my height
Didn't think I could make them but everyone made me try

Now that I stand at 5'11"
I need the standard set when I was 7
But my plan for life has gone completely
My childhood self felt so sure
I must look so dumb to her
I've waited for 16 since I was 3
I've made the mark my parents
Want but my zest for life is totally gone
So I guess,
I only failed little me

I guess life never turns out how you want
But I only want one thing
I want to be a person that would make 5-year-old me proud
I may not have a boyfriend
Or a car or good looks
But at least there's an interesting path that I too
And I learned how to stand out from a crowd
I'll never impress childhood me
If she knew how she turned out it'd crush her dreams
I'm not at all who she wanted me to be
My life when down in shambles and up in flames,
So much for her fantasy games
I wish I could pretend I was who she pretended was me

I must of gone to jupiter
'cause all I got was stupider
And I'm also really bad at making friends
I don't wake up early to put my hair in curls
And on top it all I like girls
So I guess I failed myself in the end