What We Had

There's a reason why I never drank a double shot martini, slightly dirty
I stop breathing when I'm getting close to diagnosing what I already know
I could never ask for help
Thought I should just hate myself
I got a feeling if I leave in the morning all of my demons are coming for me

I try so hard to think I'm not my father
I forget about what makes me who I am
I try so hard to think I'm not a goner
But I'm still here where it began

What we had was a lie
But I wouldn't take it back
What we could have had if you tried
But we couldn't make it last

I've been keeping on with the music
So if he's out there maybe he might hear it
I've been seeing every single movie from the one with George Clooney
"What are you doing?" he said back in 2010
Back of the theater his face was red
But I don't ever wanna change a thing
That made me stand on my own two feet

I try so hard to think I'm not my father
I forget about what makes me who I am
I try so hard to think I'm not a goner
Oh, but I'm still here where it began

What we had was a lie
But I wouldn't take it back
What we could have had if you tried
But we couldn't make it last

It's okay to cry, it's okay to laugh
It's okay to be happy when I'm told I'm supposed to be sad
I don't miss the fights, when it got bad
No, I don't miss a single thing about my old man

But what we had (what we had)
And I wouldn't take it back
What we could have had if you tried
But we couldn't make it last