Moments

Been feeling sort of backed into a corner real defeated
Every shot to combat these thoughts got me lost and retreated
Seen mothers cry finding they child not breathing
Where the luv went
That's why eyem asking instead of blowing like a car vent
Took more than changing lanes to steer my pain
Lost, searching for gains
Tears dropping like acid
Hoping that when they came they don't leave prints
This more than apologies and presence missed
When there were nights eye sat and cried not feeling relevant
You strengthened my development
And if a moment slip to tell you this
Eye believe in you even if they doubt you these what make you rich
After all those struggles & sleepless nights
Not knowing if food or shelter promised
Eye vowed to always do my best no matter the consequence
So now we here
And eyem thankful for the bad days
Cuz if eye fell aiming to obtain you had my back the same
This note to self
They saw me different in a glass frame
But underestimate the train that's in my brain
Keep my brothers they my aorta
My dna my shoulders
Give my life if it would mean they could live older
We ain't have no father present to teach us order
But our mama did
Without her strength we wouldn't have made it
As some slummed kids
Those facts that's why these moments big
So if eye told you that eye love you
Know eye meant it
Won't hesitate or regret it my soul embedded
Because you showed me who you was
You had the courage to know YOU matter
No matter if money made or pockets fatter
Eyem glad you didn't, give up on self

All the times
Where it seems that it was hard to force a smile
You gave an effort
When you would laugh to mask you down
And all those friends who said they down
Aint come around just know you mattered
When you was alone stuck in your thoughts
And all the love you had was lost
You wiped your eyes and made it better
And if no one will say that or have your back
Then know eyem here cuz without you then eye don't matter
This note to self
Its moments like this, just know you matter
And luv yaself
Slowly eye cant wait for China plates we eat for different meanings
So those who can relate can see the hate in killing demons
Now if eye chose my reasons to pick up and not
Let em hold on my dreams
And told you its better for me to be free
Of the choices like frauds and felonies
Will that make me weak
Just pray for the Meeks who hope on they last supply
Now they feel that the only release is they die
Eye know how it feels to kill a light
Kept it too real they thinning Out
Only regrets my suns were victims to the streets
Not knowing how to even spell it out damn