Permanently Stoned

Now I have some personal experience of this
Not been addicted to heroine or cocaine
But I had a 24-year non-stop cannabis habit
This started off by smoking the herb and
Naturally vaporizing it but the basic truth is that

For 24 years I was pretty much permanently stoned
(Permanently stoned)
(Permanently stoned)
And I enjoyed being stoned
(Enjoyed being stoned)
(Enjoyed being stoned)

And I felt that it helped me
With my work as a writer
Pеrhaps at some point it did but when I first
Encountеred ayahuasca I'd already been
Smoking cannabis for 16 years
And almost immediately ayahuasca started
Giving me messages that this was no longer serving me
That it was leading me to behave in negative
And unhelpful ways towards others
And of course I ignored those messages for years and years
And went back to being stoned 16 hours a day

For 24 years I was pretty much permanently stoned
(Permanently stoned)
(Permanently stoned)
And I enjoyed being stoned
(Enjoyed being stoned)
(Enjoyed being stoned)

But that negative behavior that ayahuasca was pointing out,
Did actually get worse and worse
I don't want to put down cannabis and I believe
It's a sovereign right of every adult to choose to
Smoke cannabis if they wish to do so
But I think I was overusing it I think I was abusing it,
Not using it responsibly
And I became more and more paranoid, jealous,
Possessive, suspicious I was subject to irrational rages
I often made the life of my beloved partner, Santher, a misery
And when I went down for my regular encounter
With ayahuasca in October 2011
I was given the most unbelievable kicking by Mother Ayahuasca

For 24 years I was pretty much permanently stoned
(Permanently stoned)
(Permanently stoned)
And I enjoyed being stoned
(Enjoyed being stoned)
(Enjoyed being stoned)

And I was put through an ordeal, it was a kind of life review
And it's not an accident that ayahuasca is the vine of the dead
I was shown my death and I was shown that if I came to
Death and what awaits us after death without having
Corrected the mistakes that I was making in my life
That it would be a very bad thing for me and actually
Mother Ayahuasca literally took me to hell
And that hell was a little like hell painted by Hieronymus Bosch,
A truly terrible place
And a little like the place that the ancient Egyptians
Called the judgment hall of Osiris
Where our souls are weighed in the scales in the presence of the gods
Against the Feather of Truth, of Justice of Cosmic Harmony
Where our souls are weighed in the scales in the presence of the gods
Against the Feather of Truth, of Justice, of Cosmic Harmony
And I was shown that the path I was walking my abuse of
Cannabis and the behavior associated with it was going to
Lead me to be found wanting in the judgment
And that I might face annihilation in the world beyond death
So perhaps not surprising
When I came back to England later in October 2011
I gave up cannabis
I've never smoked it again since then

For 24 years I was pretty much permanently stoned
(Permanently stoned)
(Permanently stoned)
And I enjoyed being stoned
(Enjoyed being stoned)
(Enjoyed being stoned)

For 24 years I was pretty much permanently stoned
(Permanently stoned)
(Permanently stoned)
And I enjoyed being stoned
(Enjoyed being stoned)
(Enjoyed being stoned)

I'm speaking only personally with no comment on
Others' use of cannabis
It's as though a monkey has been lifted off my back
I'm liberated in incredible ways
Far from my creativity of being inhibited I find myself
Writing much more productively much more creatively,
Much more focused and much more efficiently as well
And I began to be able to address those negative
Aspects of my behavior which cannabis had revealed
And hopefully to make myself slowly, it's a long progress
Into a more nurturing, more loving, more positive person